'As I have your attention (Except the guy on the left, who seems bored) - Let me tell you a story'
“Stop to smell the roses, the old wives snort,
“What the hell does that mean” you quickly retort.
Old wives are rarely wrong, I will try to explain,
And to prove, that your actions are never in vain.
With the pressures of the day, the time we have not,
To look at our lives and take overall stock.
We do it each decade, 30, 40 and so on,
And then make drastic changes and complain where’s your life gone.
Over the past twelve months a great lesson Ive learned,
Time on your own, which has been obviously earned.
Shut out your world and give yourself time to review,
And think about everything that is important to you.
A mother, a lover a sister and a wife,
A daughter and a best friend are some of the roles in your life.
The love that you have for them, is naturally shown,
So the least that you can ask for is time on your own.
Some will need on an hour but others deserve longer,
Some people emotions are weak whilst others are stronger.
A trip to the swimming pool or a walk in the countryside,
To find your Nirvana, which will be your place to hide.
Use this time wisely, to take a look at your lot.
Concentrate on your achievements, and what you have got,
Look back when you started out, and the ambitions you sought,
And smile at the highs and the lows, that your life’s lessons have taught.
Look at your “partner” and what was it they showed,
That got you to this point, on life’s rocky road.
Try to make adjustments, for the things that you’ve both lost,
Those precious moments you shared, that the children have cost.
The greatest gift in life, a woman has got,
To give birth to a child, a greater gift there is not.
Think of the emotion you felt, to hold a gift from above,
A little bundle of joy, that was created from love.
Treasure the moments, that you and your children share,
Because, if you don’t, you will regret it when they are not there.
You are a teacher, a provider and most importantly a friend,
And make sure they know, you will be there till the end.
Feel proud that you gave life and the chain is in tact,
And that your mother is as proud, is surely a fact.
Try not to look at your parents and think of them as staid,
But understand perfectly, the same sacrifices they have made.
Consider the friends you have made and what they mean to you,
And tell them that you love them, right out of the blue.
Pass on the advice, as to the time that you now spend,
Alone with your thoughts, and the benefits it can lend.
Remember your workmates, and the role that they play,
To manage or be managed, is just a small part of your day.
People look to you, when guidance is sought,
And how calm you can be, when the day becomes fraught.
Look to “your” future and make your dream plans,
Never forget your ambitions, are forever in your hands.
Thank god for the time alone, that you have just spent,
And resume your life with greater vigour and intent.
So when you hate Monday’s and when you’re lifes seems frayed,
Take time to feel joy about the difference you have made.
A little time on your own to reflect all that you do,
And never forget the greatness that is you.
'Death? Why does it frighten us so. An famous aethiest said 'That death is a natural and inevitable process, Why worry about not being here. You were not here for the 4 billion years before you were born' People close to you die - it is sad and inevitable part of life. Tthe key is to not let things be left unsaid'
An ode to the those we have lost along the way
When death is upon us, it is quite natural to mourn,
But, remember, for every passing, a loved one is born.
Remember, that wherever she has gone it will not be far,
And she’ll be looking down on you from the brightest star.
Her body may have appeared broken, but her heart would surely soar,
With the journeys to her bedside, you could not have done more.
Remember, mostly her laughter and also her tears,
Remember her full of vitality and not ridden with fears.
Remember, sometime in the future, when you least expect.
Her spirit will return to great effect.
A look from a child or a scent on the breeze,
A gentle reminder of her, that will put your heart at ease.
Remember the memories that almost a century gives,
And through these memories her spirit lives.
Its time to celebrate a life, and that should put a smile on your face,
When you can truly believe she has made it to a much better place.
I cannot imagine your pain and what you are going through,
But hope these words are of some comfort to you.
'This poem was semi autobigraphical, I recall reaching a certain age and realising that all the goals and dreams I had set for myself had been reached. It dawned on me that I had been convinced almost brainwashed by western society that if I followed certain steps that I would be happy. I followed the steps and behold was not happy at all!. And again, a recurring theme, 'living day to day as almost a 'spectator in my own life' The woman in the poem really is just highlighting that men are supposed to be strong, brave and the protectors but generally are just 'lost boys' but women, well they are the real heroes, kind, flexible, malleable, smart and much more well rounded. within the next century will prove to be the dominant sex.
A buddhist saying' Always look at women as if they are enlightened'
Love, Life and Laughter.
My dreams are complete, I’ve got everything I need,
A daughter, car and house and enough money to feed.
If I die tomorrow, I’ll have done everything I planned for my life.
Completing all my dreams, without much pain or strife.
“Good morning” What a wonderful day and how are you”
Hi you are right of course, and I am wonderful too”
The comments you make to strangers as you amble along your way,
The simple pleasantries you make would take on a different meaning today.
Pivotal moments occur only once or twice in your life,
As the seething pains in his chest, that cut him like a knife.
The beads of sweat formed around the intense pain in his head,
And as he hung onto his life tamely, he wished he were dead.
On the road in a ball, he tried to handle his state,
His senses jumbled as he contemplated his fate.
Passers by screamed for help as the pain shot through his limbs,
He cried out for forgiveness as his life light dims.
The pain suddenly subsided and he rose gingerly to his feet,
He brushed down his clothes and made himself neat.
He took only a few seconds to collect the thoughts in his head,
He thanked his new “friends, and from the scene fled.
He found an empty bench, by the quayside, where he sat for a while,
Reviewing his life’s ups and down with a tear and smile.
He watched the ships sail by not making a sound,
And it became increasingly obvious there was no one else around.
Then from the corner of his eye a young girl appeared,
Her pristine white dressed shone as the hazy mist cleared.
Her angel like face, with piercing green eyes,
Smiling into his heart, promising him no lies.
She sat down beside him, and clasped his hand tightly,
And gestures to the place where had fallen so heavily.
His body still lay there and they were still shouting and balling,
And pumping at his chest and ambulance calling.
“Its not your time yet” she said “ you have not fulfilled your life”
“You need to go back and make her your wife”
Love, Life and Laughter have not become true,
The fulfilment of these dreams are dependant on you.
With these wise words she slipped silently into the day.
And the violent pains appeared again and took his breath away.
When he finally became conscious, in the hospital bed he lay,
His body racked with pain, not knowing night or day.
He watched the TV intently unable to speak,
Sad family and friends visiting week after week.
And then weeks later, when the visitors hours had faded,
A lonely figure appeared looking drawn and jaded.
“Has there been an improvement” to the nurse she enquired,
He looks so ill and Ive never seen him look this tired”
“I’ve not seen you before” the nurse asked “Do you know him well”
“Yes” I’m his best friend” and she began to tell.
“I live a long way away and have a large family in tow”
”A busy life and a job and a husband you know”
“The truth is, I was afraid to come and see him this way”
“Because I always thought, that we’d be together one day.
She pulls up a chair and sits by his bed,
And holds his hand tightly and cradles his head.
His body remains motionless, however much he tries,
As tears roll down his cheeks, from his tired and swollen eyes.
“That’s great” the nurse shrieks and she surveys this sad scene,
“That’s the most emotion that any of the staff have seen”
“I think you are the one he loves and I thought you should know”
“I think he is just sobbing because you have to go”
As the weeks went by and improvements were made,
His speech and movements increased as the pain was to fade.
The three never forgot that night and the words that were said,
That touched his heart deeply and brought him back from the dead.
As lovers came and went and the children became old,
He never recalled the meeting with his friend and the words he was told.
Eventually they became lovers when they were both free,
And Loved , Laughed and got married as it was meant to be.
They walked along the beach, when they were sixty or more,
And giggled like children, as they walked along the shore.
He listened to her problems when she had a bad day,
And always missed her greatly when she went away.
So it was without any great fear, when the pains shot from head to feet,
As he knew that he could report that his life’s work was complete.
It would be twenty years or more since the last time they had talked,
As the girl approached, he noted, how slowly she walked.
She sat again beside him and her smile filled his heart,
And he smiled backed knowingly from the life’s lessons he taught.
“Well I did what I was asked” he said “I completed my life”
I gave her Love Life and Laughter and made her my wife.
The girl smiled again and was quick to reply,
“You were sent back to learn, love and laugh and that’s no lie“.
“But it was not for her, those qualities were already there”
“It was for you, and being your wife she was able to share”
“The last time we met, you had everything but nothing at all“,
“You had completed all your dreams or so I recall”
“Happiness, Peace, to be loved and to love”,
“Are precious gifts that are not bought but sent from above”
Once again, he was returned from a lesson not learned,
To spend thanking his wife, daily, as to the chance he’d not earned.
He looked at her now for the gifts that she finds so natural to share,
Love , life and laughter and the ability to care.
He thanked god daily for the angel he had been sent,
And lived his life in peace with the lessons he’d been lent.
And when he finally lay peacefully in front of the friends he had just lost,
His was overcome with sadness with what his death had just cost.
As his wife stood up before them she held back her tears,
But did not mention her heartbreak, her loneliness and fears.
She remembered back to the time she had sat by her bed,
She had held his hand tightly and cradled his head.
She smiled inwardly at the good times, they had most definitely shared,
And at the almost daily ritual, when he told her he cared.
At the times he would wake, smiling, before her and watch her sleep,
And stood by her side when the road got steep.
“He was everything to me and the love of my life”
“And I’m incredibly proud to still be his wife”
“I know that he’s still watching over me from his place up above”
“And wishing me LIFE and LAUGHTER and LOVE”
Before children - Self centred, lazy with no focus
After children - Selfless and tired
Children - 'Who would want them'? I would
Being a baby
When I was much younger the ambitions I told,
A car, a house and a daughter to hold.
Many years later most had come true,
And the important was the promise of you.
Your mother grew big in the months to the day,
September the 6th, you arrived in your own special way.
I never forgave myself for what your mother went through,
And whenever you have the chance, you should thank her to.
After eight hours you emerged so late in the night,
All battered and bruised and weak from the fight.
Apparently the cord around your head was so tight,
They were forced to operate to ensure you were alright.
You came into the world and Jordan was your name,
Your Mum and Dad would never be the same.
Nothing can compare you for the gift from on high,
I will never get it completely right however much I try.
Sleep
For the first two years, you awake before dawn,
For food or for drink, to cry or to yawn.
Of course, we would make sure that you were allright,
Your parents by then were a horrific sight.
You always look so beautiful when you are asleep,
And many a time I would watch you and weep.
Words cannot express how peaceful you look,
Words that I could not find in any book.
You sometimes awake in the night and call out my name,
I run into the bedroom, but allways in vain.
Youre eyes would be open but you cannot see,
Your mouth is making sounds but you are not talking to me.
You are having a nightmare or so it seems,
Thoughts of the day or just a bad dream.
Finally you fall back to sleep and your breathing subsides,
I watch you for minutes and hear your peaceful sighs.
It’s probably the only time you have not much to say,
The constant questions you ask, throughout the day.
I’m always pleased you ask them because it proves you are aware,
And I find it difficult to sleep when you are not there.
Regrets
When you were a baby and crying all day,
I would shake you hard, I am ashamed to say.
I would feel so helpless, to what you would need,
A cuddle, a change of nappy or just a feed.
Sometimes I would cry over the guilt that I felt,
Always frustrated at the cards I’d been dealt.
Working all day and feeling so tired,
Is my work good enough or will I be fired.
You would ask me some questions like all daughter should,
I’d either shout or ignore you or say you were no good.
It was never your fault, it was always to be,
For allowing my job to get the better of me.
I look back now at the times that went by.
I’ll never make those mistakes again I hear myself sigh.
Of course there are many things, that I now can’t provide,
But I hope you understand when I say that I tried.
As a parent you always worry at the decisions you make,
And constantly ponder the wrong roads that you make.
You have to remember and never forget,
It will be the first time I have decided on some decisions I’ve met.
Firsts
The memories a parent holds or what they recall,
We get confused when, or if it happened at all.
We like to compare you with other children’s feats,
To show that no other, with you can compete.
If it was up to your mum, everything would be kept,
Your soiled nappy and umbilical cord - Jesus wept.
The first clothes you wore home caused such glee,
That they were framed and mounted for everyone to see.
The firsts you remember as if yesterday,
“So advanced, you were” I hear them say.
”You were talking at one and walking at two”
A circus life was the future for you.
The events I remember the dates I don’t know,
The introduction of your teeth and hair seemed slow.
The practise of standing from a “hook” on the door,
And when taken away you would collapse on the floor.
We have thousands of pictures and videos too,
Small tokens that remind us of you.
Unfortunately this technology will never quite capture,
Those unforgettable expressions that leave me in rapture.
Being Sick
I remember as if it was yesterday the day you became sick,
You lost so much weight that you looked like a stick.
Straight to the hospital, in the car we jumped,
They fitted you with pipes so food could be pumped.
I worried for days because you looked so pale,
You’re ribs were all showing and your body so frail.
I paced up and down and prayed up above,
That God would save the one that I love.
He responded as always to the tears that I shed.
And you began to recover in your temporary bed.
Some days later when the weight had returned,
The trip back home, that you had most definitely earned.
You’re next trip to hospital was a tearful affair,
A dislocated shoulder, the pain too much to bare.
They pulled and they prodded the bone back in place,
I can see to this day the agony on your face.
Those two trips to Hastings were not very pleasant,
I can understand when you are ill, to admit you are hesitant.
The threat of hospital I use to this day,
Psychological warfare I hear you say.
New School
The first day of school was always to be,
A very proud moment for your mother and me.
In the years that have past your knowledge holds no bounds,
Educationally and socially within those school grounds.
Parties, Discos and Computer Club too,
I have gained lots of fond memories that I can share with you.
You have never disappointed in any of your scores,
And the Best Girl Awards show the success that is yours.
I may not always know the answers to all the questions you ask.
Or know where to look when you are given a task.
Ask me the question anyway because I may possibly know,
What the answer is or where you should go.
You will make and lose friends in the forthcoming years,
Some will bring laughter and some will bring tears.
Always be kind to everyone you see,
And if people are unkind to you, you can always tell me.
Summary
Since leaving my job, no money and bills untold,
But time spent together, great memories I hold.
From a baby to a young lady I have seen you grow,
And feel blessed to admit that Jordan Connor I know.
So let me just reiterate what you mean to me,
I’m as proud a father as any father can be.
I’m your Dad, your teacher and hopefully your friend,
And however long it will be for, I am here till the end.
Wherever life takes me and whatever I endeavour to do,
You will always be mine and I, truly, love you.
'Again a recurring theme, being caught up with the dream of fulfilling material needs, the work required to fulfill that dream and missing out on the 'what's right in front of you'
Wearing the Smile
“Sit down next to me and tell me about your day”
Your partner says affectionately, in that inviting way.
“I’ll make you a drink and take a few moments to unwind”
“Relay the days activities and I will relay mine”
“We had thousands of guests arrive and the weather was hot”
“I’ve pottered around, but not achieved a lot”.
“They moaned about their apartments, as they were not clean”
“I read a book on Art, some of which I have seen”.
“They complained about the bars and Catering and leisure”,
“To sit and relax in the sun was a real pleasure”.
“They ranted about the Entertainment, “As its just not so”,
“Butterflies flew around me just to say hello”
“We had a long meeting with regards to budgets and staff issues”,
“I went to the shop as we had run out of tissues”.
“The staff are going on strike, as they are unimpressed with their pay”,
“The pruning and watering of the flowers, took up most of my day”.
“A couple of members of staff were late and had to be told”,
“The different fragrances of the roses are something to behold”.
“They can’t keep on giving me work, I can’t handle any more”,
“I took time to discuss the problems of the woman next door”.
“A woman found a mouse in kettle and went quite berserk”,
“I helped our daughter with her Maths and English homework”.
“It looks like the staff will be working to rule”,
“She seems to be doing really well at her new school”.
“I make a small fortune but never have time to spend”,
“Our daughter was telling me about her new boyfriend”.
“I am working so hard and am feeling so tired”,
“I only work part time and am afraid I will be fired”.
Do you live to work or work to live????
Remember the rest of your life, some time to give.
The question we all need to ponder once in a while,
Is which of the above couple wears the smile!!!!
September 11th 2001 - The attack on the Twin Towers, New York.... A pivotal day for me and perhaps my generation. Watching this tragedy has had a lasting impression on my phsyche. The metaphor for me was that many people around the world assume they have 'time' many don't.
This poem was hanging around my head for many years.
A tribute to those who lost their lives and to those, in the emergency services, that risked theirs for others. This day showed the best and worst of the human condition and what can happen as a result of the 'exagerated difference between self and other'
Use this moment to tell the people around you how much you care and never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
'Every second is a chance to turn it all around' (Vanilla Sky)
If we only had one more day
All the "I love you's" that were left unsaid
All the "egg shells" where they feared to tread
All of the apologises that were never made,
All the ghosts that were never laid.
All the dreams that were never fulfilled,
All the friendships that they tried to build.
All the words in anger to late to be withheld,
All of the grandchildren that will never be held.
All the smiles that should have been shared,
All of the blushes that would now be spared.
All the arguments that were left unresolved,
All of the relationships that they unconsciously dissolved.
All the secrets that were kept, and will always remain so,
All the questions pondered, the answers not to know.
All of the anger that was carried around each day,
All of the compliments they were too frightened to say.
All of the mistakes, no time to put right.
Never to experience the wonder of day and the calmness of night.
All of the family and friends "that they always planned to see",
All of the "us and them" when it should have been "we"
So if you learn anything from this tragedy and their families great loss
Remember how fragile life is, and what it can cost
Wake each morning with a smile and treat everyone you meet with respect
And always give them more than they expect
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today
Never regret anything that you do, or anything you say
And most importantly remember, the gift sent from above
Never lose the chance, to be, with the ones that you love.
The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon
This book was written by a lady in waiting at the court of the Emperor of Japan towards the end of the 10th century.
Iwill share some observations that still resonate 1000 years late, and make me smile
- Things that people despise - An old man that has lived to be too old - Someone with an excessive reputation for goodness
- Hateful things - One is in the middle of a story when someone butts in and tries to show everyone he is the cleverest person in the room
- Unsuitable things - A handsome man with an ugly wife - A woman of a certain age with a much younger husband
- Things that cannot be compared - Summer and Winter - Rain and sunshine - Love and Hatred - When one has stopped loving someone, one feels that he has become someone else, even though he is the same person
- Things that give a pathetic impression - the voice of someone who blows his nose while speaking - The expression of a woman plucking her eyebrows
- Embarrasing things - A man who one loves gets drunk and keeps repeating himself - Parents, convinced that their ugly child is adorable, pet him and imitate his voice - Lying awake at night, one says something to one partner, who simply goes on sleeping
- Moving things - A mountain village in the snow - An attractive man or woman in mourning - A field in Autumn - Dew drops glistening in a garden in Autumn
- Awkward things - One has allowed oneself to speak badly of someone, without intending to do so. A child overhears it and repeats it in front of the person in question
- Things that give an unclean feeling - Children who sniffle as they walk - A person who does not bathe for a long time even though it is hot - Faded colours
- Things that seem better at night - An ugly person with an agreeable nature - The sound of a waterfall
- Adorable things - A baby of two is crawling rapidly, his eye catches sight of an object , picks it up and shows it to a grown up - One picks up and pretty baby and holds him for a while, he clings to ones neck and falls asleep - A little boy of about 8 who reads aloud from a book in his childish voice
- Things that should be large - Priests - Fruit - Houses - Mens eyes (if they are too small they look feminine)
- Things that should be short - A piece of thread when one wants to sew something in a hurry - The speech of a young girl
- Things that do not linger for a moment - Peoples age - The 4 seasons
- Things that people are rarely aware - The ageing of their mother
What if???
- What if a person was born and died on the same day??? What would the implications be?? Would they live their life differently?
- What if